Day 5: Cultivate your Gratitude

Editors note: This was taken from 30 Days to a Better Man by Brett and Kate McKay and formatted by Amy Landry to fit the challenge.

How to Cultivate Your Gratitude

Part 1: Count your blessings. Your first task is to make a list of 10 things that you’re grateful for.

When you start, big things will probably come to mind first: health, family, job, kids etc. But remember gratitude will really work its magic in your life when you start taking notice of the great layers of pleasure present in everyday things. We often walk around like zombies, totally numb to the great beauty and joy we experience each day. Think about things that you are maybe taking for granted. Even try to think about the blessings in disguise, like challenges that make you grow as a person,  or criticism.

Someone once told me, “When you are in a place in life where nobody cares to help you or give you advice, that is the worst place to be.” So think about the specific things. Not just “I’m thankful for my husband” but “ I’m thankful for my husband who knows how to make me laugh”  Think about the things that are unique to just you that you are grateful to have. We often only recognize these things that we are thankful for when  something about them changes or they leave. Realize that some of these things are happening right now that won’t be forever, so it’s important to try to show your gratitude while you can and while it’s not too late.

Part 2: Show Your Gratitude to Others

Too many times we skimp on the thank you’s because something has happened so often it’s become routine or we figure the person already knows how thankful we are for them. But as I said above, they often don’t, and even if they do, telling them directly will warm their soul and make their day. So task #2 is to give 3 thank you’s to 3 different people today. These have to be specific thank yous. I’m not talking about the waiter bringing your soup and you saying, “thank you,” in return, although you could at the end of the meal say, “I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am for the extraordinary service you gave tonight.” It’s okay to thank people just for doing their job well. Yeah, they’re just doing their job, but I think we all know plenty of people who can’t even rise to that level, and I’m personally grateful when people have enough integrity to do so.

Thank your significant other for how wonderful he is and mention some specific things about him that you love. Thank your co-worker for bringing donuts.  Thank your teacher for how great he or she is.

It doesn’t have to be present stuff either; give another thank you to your friend who showed you the best time in NYC when you came to visit 2 years ago. Send a thank you to that old  professor you had college who really opened your mind. Call your friend and thank her for helping you get through that rough time you had last fall. Think about people you should have thanked but missed your chance with or the people you really didn’t thank enough that make you that woman you are today.

These thank you’s can be done in person, on a post-it note, by letter, by email, by phone, whatever.  The important part is to  put some thought into it and get going!